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- Stop being the one who makes all the effort. Sit back and let the ship sink.
- Travel is the only thing you buy which makes you richer.
- Someday you will meet the happiest version of you. And it will be worth it.
- I'm just a girl standing in front of a salad asking it to be a donut.
- Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
- I respect people with real intentions who tell me the truth.
- Never forget who helped you out while everyone else was making excuses.
- If you're not losing friends, you're not growing up.
- Caring is free. Humility is free. Respect is free.
- I'm 99% sure you don't like me. But I'm 100% sure I don't care.
- Everything comes, some stay, some leave, that's life.
- Be a good person, but don't waste time proving it.
- Before you ask yourself why someone doesn't like you, ask yourself why you give a shit. Katey Sagal
- You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender. John Mark Green
- The lust for power is not rooted in strength but in weakness. - Erich Fromm
- Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things. - Arthur Schopenhauer
- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.â Mae West
- Listen more than you speak.
- Life is all about managing expectations â most of it your own
- Woop! Woop!
- Yeah, Nah! Nah, Yeah!
- Stress is boring. - Whitney Duan
- If you wouldn't ask them for advice, then f*ck their criticism. Mark Manson
- The aim of an argument should not be victory, but progress. - Karl Popper
- Calling bigotry an opinion is like calling arsenic a flavour - Jack Cameron
- Today's plan .... just grab some coffee and pretend you know what you're doing.
- You will see many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated. - Maya Angelou
- You ain't too old to start over. You're too old to keep doing what isn't working.
- When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
- Keep it private. People love to ruin things.
- Discipline is doing what you hate, but doing it like you love it.
- Trust your instincts.
- Sometimes being single is the upgrade.
- Dear Airport, I miss you!
- What people think about me is none of my business.
- Jellyfish have survived 650 million years, despite not having a brain. This gives so many people hope.
- All cruelty springs from weakness. - Seneca
- Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works.
- To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. - George Mcdonald
- Knowledge isn't power until it's applied. - Dale Carnegie
- I am at that age that the next day my body whispers to me, please don't do that AGAIN!
- Destroy what destroys you.
- Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent - Victor Hugo
- Getting no message is a message.
- He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter the heat of dispute. - Friedrich Nietzsche
- The real and lasting victories are those of peace and not of war. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Don't worry about siding for or against the majority. Worry about taking up any of their irrational beliefs. Marcus Aurelius
- Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself. Mark A. Cooper
- Sometimes the best therapy is a long drive and good music.
- The best revenge is not to be like your enemy. Marcus Aurelius
- If it excites you and scares you at the same time, it might be g good thing to try.
- It's OK to be sad after making the right decision. Andrew Zaffina
- The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
- A unicorn doesn't stand around and worry about what other unicorns think in it. It just sparkles.
- To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.
- I don't want to!I don't have to!You can't make me! I'M RETIRED.
- We can't learn without pain. Aristotle
- The world has bigger problems than boys who is boys and girls who kiss girls.
- People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.
- Be good enough to forgive people, but don't be stupid enough to trust them again.
- Nobody gets angrier than a narcissist being accused of something they definitely did. Omar Hussain
- A society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated. Khaled Hosseini
- Not all of us cook. Some of us were only made to have conversations with the person cooking.
- Once I get a different vibe, you get a different me.
- Truth does not mind being questioned, a lie does not like being challenged.
- Rumours don't scare me anymore. I know what I did and what I didn't do.
- We are only as blind as we want to be. Maya Angelou
- Love comes naturally. Hate is taught.
- Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. Voltaire
- It's OK not to have an opinion (especially if you're not an expert).
- REPEAT AFTER ME: I'm allowed to do what's best for me, even if it upsets other people.
- Why do we only rest in peace? Why don't we live in peace too?
- A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. Pythagoras
- When the debate is lost, insults become the loser's tool. Socrates
- Never go in search of love, go in search of life, and life will find you the love you need. Atticus
- All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Blaise Pascal
- I'm not fucking stupid. I mean, I used to be. But we broke up.
- Retired Porn Star
- The moment you want to quit is the moment when you need to keep pushing.
- Talking to your sister is sometimes all the therapy you need.
- I pretend coffee helps me but I'm still a bitch.
- The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell
- If you can't look back at your younger self and realise you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
- A cousin is a little bit of childhood which can never be lost.
- What's meant to be will always find a way.
- Time is the only currency you spend without knowing your balance. Use it wisely.
- Ever since I can remember I've always wanted to go back to bed.
- The best way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the person who upset you.
- Stand up for what is right even if it means standing alone.
- STAY WOKE!
- The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. Gloria Steinem
- A man who tells the truth doesn't mind being questioned. A liar does.
- Before you judge me, you better make sure you are perfect.
- Breathe! It's just a bad day, not a bad life.
- Open your mind before your mouth. - Aristophanes
- Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. Simone Weil
- Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you, it's not cake.
- I have no energy to hate. I either love you, wish you well, or you're irrelevant.
- I'm built from every mistake I ever made.
- If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when you wander. Walt Whitman
- Love is a madness that drives us to do things we never thought we'd do. - Samuel Bizimana
- Sometimes you just gotta let karma fix it, because if you fix it, you're going to jail.
- The problem with being empathic is you even feel sorry for the people who hurt you.
- We are being judged by people who do worst then us in private.
- You don't realise how fast time goes by until you watch what you have created grow.
- Don't worry if Plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
- Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.
- A real life hack: never tell anyone when you have a day off. NOT A SINGLE PERSON!
- A fit body is maintained by habits, a fit soul by principles.
- Avoiding the problems you need to face is avoiding the life you need to live.
- Creativity is intelligence having fun.
- Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do. Voltaire
- How can I blame the wind for the mess it made, if it was me who opened the window.
- I have a degree in sarcasm with a minor in procrastination.
- I'll look hot next year, I'm not in the mood this year.
- If you get a gut feeling something isn't right about a person or situation, trust it.
- Let it end. Let it hurt. Let it heal. Let it go.
- Not all Ex's are bad. Look at me, I'm someone's ex and I am the best.
- Shout out to everyone who works hard to support their dogs extravagant lifestyle.
- The older I get the more I realised my mom was right about basically everything. I just didn't like her tone.
- When I finish eating, I have to show my hands to my dog like I'm a black jack dealer.
- I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's five years in a row.
- Balance. Never let success go to you head, and never let failure go to your heart.
- Curiosity is the antidote to ignorance; seek to learn rather than defend your beliefs.
- Even the darkest night with end and the sun will rise. Victor Hugo
- How come eight hours at home takes 30 minutes but eight hours at work takes five days.
- I have abs, it's just hidden under my love for wine.
- I'm actually pretty good in bed. I hardly ever fall out anymore.
- If you think you can do a thing or you think you can't do a thing. You are right.
- Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence. Leonardo da Vinci
- Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people. Socrates
- The fact I gotta go to work and be my own Sugar Mama is crazy.
- I never said that shit. Confucius
- I don't just say awkward things, I am an awkward thing.
- A fool contributes nothing worth hearing and takes offense at everything. - Aristotle
- When love visits you again, may it be safe, secure, genuine and reassuring.
- A fool contributes nothing worth hearing and takes offense at everything. - Aristotle
- Contentment is natural wealth; luxury is artificial poverty. Socrates
- Electile Dysfunction: the inability to be aroused by any of the parties standing for election.
- How do I get a hurricane named after me? I've been a disaster my whole life.
- I have a degree in Mansplaning.
- I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in a body that doesn't.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain
- Live Fart Laugh
- Never hide your magic.
- Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. Khalil Gibran
- Single, but unavailable and uninterested.
- The first step to get approval is by not needing it.
- There is never any need to get worked up about things you can't control. Marcus Aurelius
- You've got one life, waste it wisely.
- Avoiding facts and refusing to recognise mistakes is the absolute definition of pure stupidity. Celynne Alvarez
- Every word has consquences. Every silence too. Jean-Paul Sartre
- I am enough.
- I know what I bring to the table. So trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone.
- I'm not antisocial. I just don't engage in meaningless conversation.
- Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you lost.
- Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. T.S.Eliot
- One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they will gain.
- Some people have material things, while others have love and true happiness.
- The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. Bertrand Russell
- Time is more valuable than money. You can get money, but you cannot get more time.
- When you start to improve yourself, loneliness is the price you pay.
- We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.
- Tradition - Peer pressure from dead people.
- Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt
- I am always in need of a night in the outback, with a bonfire, good music, friends and a million billion stars.
- I just got to a point where I decided that I want to live an unbullshitafied life. Steve Maraboli
- I'm not as unhinged as I could be and I want everyone to be grateful for that.
- It is fatal to enter a war without the will to win it. Douglas MacArthur
- Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realise this after saying them.
- I licked it so it's mine.
- I am not feeling very worky today.
- Flawed characters rise to greatness.
- Ask yourself at every moment, Is this necessary? Marcus Aurelius
- Ethics is the child of emotion and reason.
- The goal is simple. Be better than yesterday.
- Your friend who's not my friend should never know my business.
- A good friend is great, but a good friend with chocolate is basically a superhero.
- When we avoid hard conversations, we're not keeping the peace. We're just keeping the tension.
- Be a good person in real life, not on social media.
- Dear old people, Being in bed by 9pm is amazing. Sorry I made fun of you.
- Excuses won't build your future.
- I can't cook, but I can start an argument from scratch.
- I need one of those jobs where I get paid to travel the world.
- I've survived too many storms to be bothered by raindrops.
- It's not who is right, but what is right, that is important. Thomas Huxley
- My favourite activity is minding my own business.
- Someone taking your parking pace at home is a different type of anger.
- The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller
- Today I'm gonna give it my almost.
- Woke up gorgeous again, this is getting ridiculous.
- Your pain is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.
- Dads know a lot, Grandfathers know everything.
- Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. George Adair
- I can't believe I ever refused to take a nap as a kid. These days I will do just about anything to take a nap.
- I need to sit by the ocean and dissociate for like, three days.
- If I die choking on a gummy bear, tell everyone I was killed by a bear and say no more .
- It's OK to quit on someone who is not trying, you deserve effort.
- My patience is basically like a gift card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
- People raised on love see things differently than those raised in survival - Joy Marino
- Sometimes I read a text and think what a psycho. Then I press send.
- The older I get the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.
- At least I'm a fun hot mess. Like a train wreck full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
- Treat other's with kindness, even if they don't deserve it; it's not about them, it's about who you are. - Samuel Bizimana
- You are not too old and it is not too late.
- The strongest man you know is a first born daughter.
- Stick to your plan, not your mood.
- Be careful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same.
- Devote the rest of your life making progress. Epictetus
- Flying is my second favourite F-Word.
- I don't know the secret to happiness, but I have never been sad drinking wine on a beach.
- I want to drop my body off at the gym and pick it up when it's ready.
- If you are lonely when you are alone, you're in bad company. Jean Paul Sartre
- Kindness is loaning someone your strength instead of reminding them of their weaknesses.
- Gezzz! If I knew life was going to be like this, I would've got a job and bought a house in first grade!
- A Politician divides mankind into two classes: tools and enemies. - Friedrich Nietzsche
- Sometimes words aren't enough, thus we have the middle fingers.
- The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth.
- Too young to retire. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip.
- Why does the older daughter always think she is the family manager.
- Your triggers are your responsibility. It isn't the world's obligation to tiptoe around you.
- I am not always a trainwreck. Just kidding! Toot toot!
- Be a fruit loop in a world of Cheerios.
- Dear Facebook, Stop suggesting people I may know. I do know them. I don't like them.
- I matched someone's disrespect and they didn't like it.
- I'm at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stops working.
- Injustice is not an accident, it is an act of deliberate evil. Socrates
- Make your own rules or be a slave to another man's. William Blake
- REMINDER: You are a day closer to boarding a plane.
- Stay original and let the world copy you.
- True friends stab you in the front. - Oscar Wilde
- Why does my own brain have to ruin my mood. Like, whose side are you even on.
- Your kindness also needs boundaries.
- Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee.
- Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you want a different result try a different approach. Patrick Kyei
- Everything I lose creates space for everything I need.
I am not always a trainwreck. Just kidding! Toot toot!
Of course. This is a humorous and self-deprecating joke that plays on a popular slang term. Let's break it down.
The joke is a witty way for someone to admit that their life is consistently chaotic, messy, or prone to mishaps. It's a statement of self-aware disorganisation, delivered with a laugh.
It's a very relatable and popular form of modern, self-deprecating humour, often used by people to light heartedly acknowledge they feel overwhelmed or that their life is not as organised as they'd like it to be.
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